Bossypants

The climax of Bossypants comes on a September weekend of 2008: Tina Fey, as the Producer of 30 Rock, had to schmooze Oprah Winfrey into filming a scene for her TV show; she was convinced to do an impression of Sarah Palin for Saturday Night Live; and she was busy planning a 3rd birthday party for her daughter Alice on the Sunday. How Tina Fey got to that point, and how she manages those three threads of her life, is really the substance of this book. Regarding this weekend in particular, Fey says: By the way, when Oprah Winfrey is suggesting you may have overextended yourself, you need to examine your f--ing life.

I listened to the audiobook and would recommend the experience highly; Tina Fey treats the reading as a performance, doing voices and levels that keep the story funny and personal. It is also through her voice that you get the point of the title "Bossypants"-- Fey wants you to know that she's smart and capable and in charge, but she also wants you to like her; she's the boss but she's not really bossy, and I just wanted to be able to tell her, "It's okay to be the boss, own it, don't apologise for it". She makes it sound as though the opportunity to create her own show just fell into her lap, and as proud as she is of 30 Rock, and as hard as she works on it, the show is kind of an underdog and she loves it despite its indie-cult status. (I did like her confessional tone in saying that while she appreciates that people think it's hip and quirky, she was actually trying to make a big hit and this is what came out. It's a bit of a cheat, however, to only mention in passing the wagonload of Emmys she's earned for it.) Because of her producing role, Fey threads many nuggets of advice throughout the book for women in the workplace, whether in positions of power or not. Some examples:

So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

If I was going to actually recommend a book on what it's like to create and develop and run a network comedy, it would beYou're Lucky You're Funny How Life Becomes a Sitcom by Phil Rosenthal, creator of Everybody Loves Raymond, but that's not entirely what Bossypants is about.


Tina Fey also outlines her acting background in this book, starting with her exposure in summer camp and going to college to study drama and joining Second City in Chicago. Once again, she describes joining the Second City company as though it was no big deal, but everyone knows it is (own it Tina!). There are some funny stories about touring and about standing up to the men in charge who don't think an audience would ever want to see just two women in a skit, but it seems to be missing an element of paying her dues. She then explains how, through a terrible interview, she landed a writing job at SNL, was promoted to Head Writer when the former one left, and then was asked to audition to appear in the Weekend Update. Each of these (huge) accomplishments is mentioned briefly as though she doesn't want to brag about them, and for an insider, she doesn't give a lot of insight into how SNL works. I was very interested in the story of how Fey was asked to come back and do the Sarah Palin impression-- I had no idea that it was in response to an internet phenomenon (much like when there was the groundswell of support for Betty White to host SNL). I was surprised that Fey was so nervous because, even though she had a background in improv and sketch comedy, she didn't think of herself as much of an impressionist. More surprising was how she didn't want to be seen as politically partisan. I do remember seeing that sketch live and finding it hilarious, but it wasn't untilBossypants that I realised what was so wonderful about it: it would have been very easy for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler to act out some catfight as Palin and Hillary Clinton, but they were able to be funny without demeaning the characters as women-- by making the sketch about an appeal for the sexism in the media to stop, they were true to themselves as actresses, didn't stoop to partisanism, and were funny, to boot. My favourite Amy Poehler/SNL story:


Amy Poehler was new to SNL and we were all crowded into the seventeenth-floor writers' room, waiting for the Wednesday read-through to start. There were always a lot of noisy "comedy bits" going on in that room. Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can't remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and loud and "unladylike."

Jimmy Fallon, who was arguably the star of the show at the time, turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said: "Stop that! It's not cute! I don't like it."
Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. "I don't f--ing care if you like it." Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit …

With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn't there to be cute. She wasn't there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys' scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not f--ng care if you like it.

So if I was going to recommend a book on what it's like to pay your dues and work hard to learn the ins and outs of sketch comedy and get hired on Saturday Night Live, it would beThirty-Nine Years Of Short-Term Memory Loss by Tom Davis, but that's not entirely what Bossypants is about either.

Tina Fey also weaves through a thread of more personal memoir, starting with talking about why she doesn't talk about the scar on her face, through her relationship with her parents and adolescence and dating and marriage and motherhood. These are probably the least funny of the stories, but they are warm and interesting, and because it was an audiobook, listening to them felt intimate and personal. Here's her A Mother's Prayer for her Daughter:

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes and not have to wear high heels.
What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers and the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.

It's in her most personal stories, when talking about her parents or husband and daughter that I think Tina Fey shines; she loses the tone of apologising for her success, or acting like it all happened apart from herself. I found it poignant at the end ofBossypants that, as successful as she was, riding the success of30 Rock, the Palin impressions, and the $5 million book advance, Fey is torn between having another baby and capitalising on her peaking stardom by looking for some movie projects. Forty at the time of writing she says, "It feels like my last five minutes of being famous are timing out to be simultaneous with my last five minutes of being able to have a baby." She's so likeable that I can grant her this moment of angst even though I know she now has a second daughter and a leading role in a movie in theatres right now (Admission).

In the end, I admire Tina Fey the person and the performer. She doesn't come off as the man-hating-feminist-pinko-lefty that I had thought she was. While this wasn't a perfect book, it was a fun experience and I can't give it only three stars (3.5 would likely be my fair rating). It shines when Fey stops apologizing and is true to who she is (or at least who she paints herself to be). I can't imagine what it would be like to be famous and have strangers judging you, securely behind their anonymous usernames, so I liked this bit of revenge:

Dear Internet

One of my greatest regrets is that I don't always have time to answer the wonderful correspondence I receive. When people care enough to write, the only well-mannered thing to do is to return the gift, so please indulge me as I answer some fans here.

From tmz.com
Posted by Sonya in Tx on 7/4/2010, 4.33 pm
When is Tina going to do something
about that hideous scar across her
cheek??

Dear Sonya in Tx,

Greetings, Texan friend! (I'm assuming the "Tx" in your screen name stands for Texas and not some rare chromosomal deficiency you have. Hope I'm right about that!)

First of all, my apologies for the delayed response. I was unaware you had written until I went on tmz.com to watch some of their amazing footage of people in LA leaving restaurants and I stumbled upon your question.

I'm sure if you and I compare schedules we could find a time to get together and do something about this scar of mine. But the trickier question is what am I going to do? I would love to get your advice, actually. I'm assuming you're a physician, because you seem really knowledgeable about how the human body works.

What do you think I should do about this hideous scar? I guess I could wear a bag on my head, but do I go with linen like the Elephant Man or a simple brown paper like the Unknown Comic? Too many choices, help!

Thank you for your time. You are a credit to Texas and Viking women both.

Yours,
Tina
P.S. Great use of double question marks, by the way. It makes you seem young.


From Dlisted.com
Posted by Centaurious on Monday, 21/9/2009, 2.08 am
Tina Fey is an ugly, pear-shaped,
bitchy, overrated troll

Dear Centaurious,

First let me say how inspiring it is that you have learned to use a computer.

I hate for our correspondence to be confrontational, but you have offended me deeply. To say I'm an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. I'll leave it for others to say if I'm the best, but I am certainly one of the most dedicated trolls guarding bridges today. I always ask three questions, at least two of which are riddles.

As for "ugly, pear-shaped and bitchy"? I prefer the terms "offbeat, business class–assed and exhausted", but I'll take what I can get. There's no such thing as bad press!

Now go to bed, you crazy night owl! You have to be at NASA early in the morning. So they can look for your penis with the Hubble telescope.

Affectionately,
Tina


From PerezHilton.com
Posted by jerkstore on Wednesday, 21/1/2009, 11.21 pm
In my opinion Tina Fey completely
ruined SNL. The only reason she's
celebrated is because she's a woman and
an outspoken liberal. She has not a single
funny bone in her body

Dear jerkstore,

Huzzah for the Truth Teller! Women in this country have been overcelebrated for too long. Just last night there was a story on my local news about a "missing girl", and they must have dedicated seven or eight minutes to "where she was last seen" and "how she might have been abducted by a close family friend", and I thought, "What is this, the News for Chicks?" Then there was some story about Hillary Clinton flying to some country because she's secretary of state. Why do we keep talking about these dumdums? We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What's Michael Bay's next film going to be?

When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn't think anyone would notice, but I persevered because – like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle – it was a labour of love.

I'm not one to toot my own horn, but I feel safe with you, jerkstore, so I'll say it. Everything you ever hated on SNL was by me, and anything you ever liked was by someone else who did it against my will.

Sincerely,
Tina Fey

PS You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.


And finally, after several examples of Tina Fey asking women to stop sabotaging each other, it's ironic that Taylor Swift couldn't be the butt of a joke by Fey and Poehler without accusing them of doing the same. I'm glad that Ms Fey never apologised for that-- own it Tina!